Thursday, January 10, 2008

Mr Blackwell's wicked worst-dressed list

It’s that time of the year again, bitchy Mr Blackwell releases his worst-dressed list and knocks the egos of some wannabe fashionista celebs down a couple pegs. Coming in at number one was Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham (who recently discussed her dreams of being a stylist, ouch). "Forget the fashion spice — wearing a skirt would suffice!,” Blackwell said. “In one skinny-mini monstrosity after another, pouty posh can really wreck-em." Into second place - by a beehive - was Amy Winehouse (who, on a sorta related topic, recently just dyed her hair platinum blonde) of whom Blackwell wrote: "Exploding beehives above… tacky polka-dots below... she's part ‘50s car-hop horror." Of third place’s Mary-Kate Olsen, he simply said: "YIKES!,” adding, “In layers of cut-rate kitsch, Mary-Kate's look is hard to explain... she resembles a tattered toothpick trapped in a hurricane!" Fourth place’s Fergie had her fashion described as "Another style-free 'Fergie' in fashion's hall of shame? Yes, when it comes to couture chaos, guess it's all in a name!" (love the rhymes!) She may be an American Idol, but a fashion idol Kelly Clarkson is not since she took a fifth place position. "Her heavenly voice soars above the rest... but those belly-baring bombs are hellish at best! She may be the queen of 'ProActive' — but that wardrobe looks downright radioactive!" In sixth was Bond babe Eva Green who was apparently "Stuck in neon nightmares not fit for the sane. Fashion this loud could give Bond a migraine! A profusion of confusion from toes to nose!" Canuck Avril Lavigne landed in seventh and earned the comment: "Gothic makeup courtesy of the mad spatula — Fashions provided by... The house of Dracula!" Next came Jessica Simpson who was warned to: "Forget the Cowboys. In prom queen screams, can it get any worse? She's a global fashion curse!" The penultimate position went to Lindsay Lohan: "Lindsay the fashion frenzy strikes again! Lohan takes fashion to a new low." And last but not least, Alison Arngrim: "Little Nellie of the prairie, looks like a 1940's fashion editor for the Farmer’s Almanac." However, o be fair to Arngrim, she did grow up playing Nellie on Little House on the Prairie, the fashion (or lack there of) was bound to rub off on her. But the piece of news that’s getting as much if not more coverage than people who actually landed on the list, is that Britney was spared. “For those of you who were expecting to see Britney's name adorn the 2007 list, I felt that it was inappropriate at this time to make comment, when her personal life is in such upheaval,” Blackwell said. “I hope 2008 is a better year for her.”

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