Hilton helping Spears?

Britney Spears’s life is falling apart in front of the world, but her good ol’ bff Paris Hilton is there to vouch for her. "She's a very sweet girl and I love her to death," Hilton said in an interview with E! News, BreakingNews.ie reported. "I wish the best for her, and I just wish everyone would leave her alone so she could live her life... She's a great mother and a great girl, and I really care about her." Spears is currently fighting for custody of her children – 2-year-old Sean Preston and 1-year-old Jayden James – who were decdme to be in better hands with their father, Kevin Federline. I’m sure Hilton prob meant to help, but as I told InsideEonline.com, I highly doubt the word of a previously imprisoned socialite will help her.

Buffy not being Britney

Sarah Michelle Gellar plays an out of control pop star in her upcoming flick The Air I Breathe, but she insists the character’s not based on Britney. “It wasn’t based on anybody in Hollywood, even if some things seem similar,” she told Parade magazine. “Honestly, without sounding corny, it gives you a sorrowful experience when you realize how lonely and how isolated these girls must be… At least that’s the insight that I got.” On the subject of Britney, Gellar seems sad. “It’s not something to joke about,” she said. “I’ve met Britney a few times and seen her perform. I think what has happened to her is heart wrenching. It’s really sad.”

Brit’s obit?

Watching Britney Spears completely falling apart in the spotlight it getting depressing. It’s like watching a trapeze artist with no net and knowing she’s going to fall, but not being able to get out of your seat to save her. There’s some sick site that’s offering a reward to whoever can guess the Toxic singer’s death. “We’ll all have a date with our maker someday, but like Amy Winehouse, Britney Spears just can’t seem to wait,” reads WhenIsBritneyGoingToDie.com. “A couple of years ago she looked stunning and was a wet dream for every man. But for some reason Britney also landed in a self-destruction derby. Guess her final breath and be crowned Mr or Mrs Death. Winner will be rewarded with a PS3.” Along a similar (but definitely not the same) vein is the Associated Press already working on her obituary, just in case. “We are not wishing it, but if Britney passed away, it’s easily one of the biggest stories in a long time,” AP entertainment editor Jesse Washington told Usmagazine.com. “I think one would agree that Britney seems at risk right now… Of course, we would never wish any type of misfortune on anybody and hope that we would never have to use it until 50 years from now… but if something were to happen, we would have to be prepared.” Spears will be hitting the spookily doomed age of 27 at the end of this year, let’s just hope she gets some serious help before she goes the way of Kurt, Janis, Jimi or Jim.

Trump’s cheap love?

Donald Trump, your reasons for liking someone are as awful as your hair. The Donald recently revealed why he changed his opinion of Kevin Federline. "I used to say terrible things about Kevin, but I saw him being interviewed once and he said his all-time hero was Donald Trump. That's why he started wearing suits. So I actually think he is a fantastic guy and a wonderful husband," Trump was quoted by OK! magazine as saying. Wow, so I guess a suit and sucking up is all it takes? Check out InsideEonline.com for what Trump had to say about Federslime’s babies’ mama, Britney Spears.

Mr Blackwell's wicked worst-dressed list

It’s that time of the year again, bitchy Mr Blackwell releases his worst-dressed list and knocks the egos of some wannabe fashionista celebs down a couple pegs. Coming in at number one was Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham (who recently discussed her dreams of being a stylist, ouch). "Forget the fashion spice — wearing a skirt would suffice!,” Blackwell said. “In one skinny-mini monstrosity after another, pouty posh can really wreck-em." Into second place - by a beehive - was Amy Winehouse (who, on a sorta related topic, recently just dyed her hair platinum blonde) of whom Blackwell wrote: "Exploding beehives above… tacky polka-dots below... she's part ‘50s car-hop horror." Of third place’s Mary-Kate Olsen, he simply said: "YIKES!,” adding, “In layers of cut-rate kitsch, Mary-Kate's look is hard to explain... she resembles a tattered toothpick trapped in a hurricane!" Fourth place’s Fergie had her fashion described as "Another style-free 'Fergie' in fashion's hall of shame? Yes, when it comes to couture chaos, guess it's all in a name!" (love the rhymes!) She may be an American Idol, but a fashion idol Kelly Clarkson is not since she took a fifth place position. "Her heavenly voice soars above the rest... but those belly-baring bombs are hellish at best! She may be the queen of 'ProActive' — but that wardrobe looks downright radioactive!" In sixth was Bond babe Eva Green who was apparently "Stuck in neon nightmares not fit for the sane. Fashion this loud could give Bond a migraine! A profusion of confusion from toes to nose!" Canuck Avril Lavigne landed in seventh and earned the comment: "Gothic makeup courtesy of the mad spatula — Fashions provided by... The house of Dracula!" Next came Jessica Simpson who was warned to: "Forget the Cowboys. In prom queen screams, can it get any worse? She's a global fashion curse!" The penultimate position went to Lindsay Lohan: "Lindsay the fashion frenzy strikes again! Lohan takes fashion to a new low." And last but not least, Alison Arngrim: "Little Nellie of the prairie, looks like a 1940's fashion editor for the Farmer’s Almanac." However, o be fair to Arngrim, she did grow up playing Nellie on Little House on the Prairie, the fashion (or lack there of) was bound to rub off on her. But the piece of news that’s getting as much if not more coverage than people who actually landed on the list, is that Britney was spared. “For those of you who were expecting to see Britney's name adorn the 2007 list, I felt that it was inappropriate at this time to make comment, when her personal life is in such upheaval,” Blackwell said. “I hope 2008 is a better year for her.”

Poisonous Paris

Paris Hilton seems to have another wrecked soul to notch onto her belt. After appearing to be a bad influence at the beginning of Britney Spears’s out of control downward spiral (which is turning out to be more like a plummet beyond rock bottom), it looks like she’s leading Kelly Osbourne down a similar path. According to the New York Daily News’s Rush & Molloy, on the way out of Vegas’s Noir, Osbourne was heard telling some peeps that "[Paris] gave me my first alcohol poisoning!" Something to be proud of. NOT! Damn, I not-ed too soon. The celebutard’s response was reportedly a giggly: "I did?! That's hot." What? Since when is poisoning someone hot? What planet are you from?

Ripper war?

Paris Hilton and Britney Spears could be headed toward a cataclysmic catfight by stepping on each other’s turf if they both open their own strip clubs in Sin City. “Britney was excited about this project for months and is really pissed with Paris that things have come to this,” a source told the UK’s Daily Star. “And that’s even before she heard Paris has been partying with Kevin [Federline]. Britney has always thought of stripping as a bit like art – as a skill. So when some Vegas-based developers approached her about investing money into three exclusive strip joints, which she wants to call Toxic Heaven, she jumped at the chance. But then Paris heard about the plans through her younger sister Nicky, who is a hotelier, and jumped on the bandwagon. She [was] wanting to open her own strip joints, calling them Shagadillic. Paris is now in talks with business developers about the idea and wants to involve Nicky to keep it within the family. She thinks they can trounce Britney.” Oh yeah, and the icing on the cake: it was purportedly Paris who taught Spears to strip in the first place. Ha!

Chris Rock burns Britney

Comedian Chris Rock rocked Britney Spears when he humoured thousands at his New Year’s Eve performance. "Britney Spears, boy,” Rock said while starting in on the Toxic singer, the New York Post’s Page Six reported. “Even OJ kept his kids, and he even killed their mother… Britney went and messed up her dance moves at the MTV awards and they took her kids away. Go rehearse and get your kids back." Rock on Rock!

Puh-leeze Posh

Victoria Beckham tried to claim she’s not a media whore who craves the spotlight like a fat kid does Smarties. "[My family spends] a lot of time socializing at home so we don't get photographed… I couldn't live a life where I was under the spotlight everyday," Posh told Extra. "If you look at someone like Britney Spears, I couldn't do that. I've got to have my privacy at home with my husband and my children otherwise,I'd end up going loopy." Of course if one had a hubby like David Beckham they should want to stay home (and in bed), but it seems like there’s a Beckham, like, all the time (plus their appearances in rag mags seem to be on par, if not more frequent than the Toxic singer). And if anyone saw her show, Victoria Beckham: Coming to America (which, by the way, was awesome!), they would have seen someone who seems to love hamming it up for the camera.

Lily Allen's musings on role models

So, apparently Lily Allen thinks that parental units make better role models than screwed up celebrities. “I don’t understand putting famous people on a pedestal and making them into role models,” she told Harper’s Bazaar magazine, the New York Daily News’ Rush & Molloy reported. “Your mum is meant to be your role model, not famous people… They’re all on drugs and drinking a lot… completely the wrong people to look up to.” Ok, I hear ya, but what about when screwed up celebs are moms, ie Britney Spears, and, oh yeah, soon to be YOU!?

‘Tis the season to get knocked up!

First was the jaw-dropping shocking news that Jessica Alba was preggers (she didn’t even give the tabloids time to report on rumours, nor print the possible baby bump pic, or even spotting her at some chic LA baby boutique… She jumped all the preliminary steps and went right out and announced it. How selfish!). Brit pop tiny tart Lily Allen is apparently also expecting with her boyfriend of three months, Chemical Brother Ed Simons who’s 14 years her senior. A rep for the Smile singer said in a statement that “the pregnancy is at a very, very early stage, [so] the couple ask that you respect their privacy," People magazine reported. "The couple will be making no further comment but they are obviously both thrilled by the news." Now it’s teen time! Britney Spears’s 16-year-old little sister, Jamie Lynn Spears, has announced she’s got a bun in her oven. "I can't say it was something I was planning to do right now," Spears told OK! magazine. "But now that it's in my lap and that it's something I have to deal with, I'm looking forward to being the best mom I can be." With her sister’s track record, I can’t imagine it would be that hard to be better. And on a related and not so surprising note, Mommy Spears (aka Lynne Spears) has had her parenting book, which was scheduled to come out on Mother’s Day, delayed indefinitely. What a shock!

Britney Spears attempting to act virginal?

Along the same laughable lines of rumours that Paris Hilton was offered the role of Mother Teresa, Britney Spears has supposedly been asked to portray the Virgin Mary. "I had to convince my partners because they were like, 'Oh, no. Britney?,'" French producer Philippe Rebboah told Us Weekly. "But I thought it was brilliant. It's a bit ironic that she would play the Virgin Mary, no?" Apparently the film will be a satirical story. The purported plotline that was revealed is as follows: a pregnant 19-year-old named Mary, who doesn’t know who knocked her up, goes into labour on Christmas Eve in Bethlehem, Maryland, while rumours run rampant that her babe may be Jesus’ second coming. I’ve seen the Toxic singer’s film Crossroads and if that was any example, she def doesn’t have enough acting ability to pull off playing a virgin.