Hilton helping Spears?

Britney Spears’s life is falling apart in front of the world, but her good ol’ bff Paris Hilton is there to vouch for her. "She's a very sweet girl and I love her to death," Hilton said in an interview with E! News, BreakingNews.ie reported. "I wish the best for her, and I just wish everyone would leave her alone so she could live her life... She's a great mother and a great girl, and I really care about her." Spears is currently fighting for custody of her children – 2-year-old Sean Preston and 1-year-old Jayden James – who were decdme to be in better hands with their father, Kevin Federline. I’m sure Hilton prob meant to help, but as I told InsideEonline.com, I highly doubt the word of a previously imprisoned socialite will help her.

Hilton claims Harlow's, like, such a hot name

Paris Hilton has declared that her bff ‘s baby has “the coolest name ever.” Nicole Richie and Joel Madden decided to call their daughter Harlow Winter Kate Madden. "It's the coolest name ever," Hilton told Us magazine. "I'm like, 'That is the coolest name, oh my God!' I wouldn't even think she would have thought of that. It's a beautiful name. Nicole is so into it... She always knows what's cool before it happens." Hilton’s not the only one harping about Harlow. The author of The Baby Name Bible, Pam Satran, told Us that "Harlow is the coolest glamour girl name." Now lets wait and see how many little Harlows will be running around over the next year or so.

Paris patronized pint-sized Pesci

Paris Hilton put her stiletto in her mouth again when she recently ran into Joe Pesci and decided to dole out career advice. Apparently the celebutard went up to the pint-sized Pesci and proceeded to tell him she loved him in The Godfather, or so says the UK’s Daily Star. After trying to correct her, suggesting she may be thinking of Goodfellas (you know, a movie he actually appeared in), she blamed him for the mix up because he hadn’t stayed in the spotlight enough by appearing in mainstream movies like Home Alone. A source said Pesci “was literally speechless when Paris advised him to do another mainstream movie. The first two Home Alones came out when she was a little girl, so she was a big fan. But Paris clearly didn’t have a clue about his legendary silver screen status. The room gnawed their fists in a collective cringe.” The source added: “It was just another example of Paris’s giant ego and tiny brain. But unintentionally she put a smile on Pesci’s face as he left the restaurant. He thought she was funny.”

Let’s compare careers, shall we? Joe Pesci has an Academy Award, Paris Hilton has a Razzie; Joe Pesci has starred alongside such fine actors as Robert De Niro (Raging Bull), Tommy Lee Jones, Donald Sutherland, Sissy Spacek, John Candy, Kevin Costner (all in JFK), Matt Damon and Angelina Jolie (The Good Shepherd), while Paris Hilton has starred under Rick Salomon in 1 Night in Paris and alongside Carmen Electra (Pledge This!), Jason Mewes (Bottoms Up), Elisha Cuthbert and Chad Michael Murray (House of Wax); the name of Joe Pesci’s next flick is Love Ranch and costars Helen Mirren while one of Paris Hilton’s next movies is called The Hottie and the Nottie.

Poisonous Paris

Paris Hilton seems to have another wrecked soul to notch onto her belt. After appearing to be a bad influence at the beginning of Britney Spears’s out of control downward spiral (which is turning out to be more like a plummet beyond rock bottom), it looks like she’s leading Kelly Osbourne down a similar path. According to the New York Daily News’s Rush & Molloy, on the way out of Vegas’s Noir, Osbourne was heard telling some peeps that "[Paris] gave me my first alcohol poisoning!" Something to be proud of. NOT! Damn, I not-ed too soon. The celebutard’s response was reportedly a giggly: "I did?! That's hot." What? Since when is poisoning someone hot? What planet are you from?

Ripper war?

Paris Hilton and Britney Spears could be headed toward a cataclysmic catfight by stepping on each other’s turf if they both open their own strip clubs in Sin City. “Britney was excited about this project for months and is really pissed with Paris that things have come to this,” a source told the UK’s Daily Star. “And that’s even before she heard Paris has been partying with Kevin [Federline]. Britney has always thought of stripping as a bit like art – as a skill. So when some Vegas-based developers approached her about investing money into three exclusive strip joints, which she wants to call Toxic Heaven, she jumped at the chance. But then Paris heard about the plans through her younger sister Nicky, who is a hotelier, and jumped on the bandwagon. She [was] wanting to open her own strip joints, calling them Shagadillic. Paris is now in talks with business developers about the idea and wants to involve Nicky to keep it within the family. She thinks they can trounce Britney.” Oh yeah, and the icing on the cake: it was purportedly Paris who taught Spears to strip in the first place. Ha!

Kim Kardashian and her awesome Oreo

Kim Kardashian may seem slightly useless, being known mainly for of partying, for her sex tape with Ray J and being friends with Paris Hilton (all things to be proud of), but she may have something to contribute to the repertoire of junk food junkies. While talking to People magazine she mentioned a tasty treat that sounds like it could be sinfully delicious: a deep fried Oreo. "There's nothing even remotely healthy about that, but it's so, so good," she said. Ohmygawd! I’ve had deep fried Mars bars, but this brings deep fried foods to a whole new level! Kudos Kim!

Hilton harasses Smurfs

What is up with Paris Hilton and small fictional characters? We just heard about her running to the rescue of an Oompa Loompa and now she’s supposedly smitten with Smurfs. The celebutard was at a Berlin Christmas Market when she spotted two Smurfs (and when I say Smurfs, I don’t mean she was on something and saw cartoon characters, I mean she saw two men with blue body paint who were dressed up to look like Smurfs as part of a promo). “I don’t know if Paris had been on the mulled wine, but when she saw the chaps on the sweet stall, she squealed,” a source told the UK’s Daily Star. “We heard her saying: ‘Oh my, real live Smurfs. I always wanted one when I was a kid’ before turning to her pal and asking: ‘Can I take them home?’ Then she added: ‘I didn’t realize that this is where they came from.’ She then started talking about adding them to her collection and bent down to talk to them in a babyish voice. I really don’t think she was trying to cause offence. But the actors were really narked off about it all.” No shit Sherlock, the thought of being adopted by that trashy bimbo sounds awful! “One of them just flipped and starting shouting at Paris,” the source added. “He obviously spoke fluent English and told her in no uncertain terms that he was a grown man and that she was being very patronizing. It was a bit chilly and they were frazzled after a long day so not prepared to put up with the kooky American; it was quite a scene.” Damn, where’s a TMZ camera when you need one?

Ander-nother one bites the dust?

It seems like Pamela Anderson is starting to compete with Elizabeth Taylor who has countless marriages and divorces under her belt. The Baywatch babe’s third marriage wasn’t a charm as reports indicate that she filed for divorce from Rick Salomon. CelebTV.com obtained court documents that say Anderson filed on Dec 14th (just two months and one week after they got hitched), citing irreconcilable differences. So now Pam’s list of exes includes Tommy Lee, Kid Rock and the guy who starred in the Paris Hilton sex tape. Salomon also has a trio of exes, as Pammie came after 90210’s Shannen Doherty and Elizabeth Daily (the voice of Tommy Pickles in Rugrats).
Update: Anderson wrote a simple one sentenced entry to her blog: “we’re working things out…” Wonder what that means???

Britney Spears attempting to act virginal?

Along the same laughable lines of rumours that Paris Hilton was offered the role of Mother Teresa, Britney Spears has supposedly been asked to portray the Virgin Mary. "I had to convince my partners because they were like, 'Oh, no. Britney?,'" French producer Philippe Rebboah told Us Weekly. "But I thought it was brilliant. It's a bit ironic that she would play the Virgin Mary, no?" Apparently the film will be a satirical story. The purported plotline that was revealed is as follows: a pregnant 19-year-old named Mary, who doesn’t know who knocked her up, goes into labour on Christmas Eve in Bethlehem, Maryland, while rumours run rampant that her babe may be Jesus’ second coming. I’ve seen the Toxic singer’s film Crossroads and if that was any example, she def doesn’t have enough acting ability to pull off playing a virgin.

Is Pam taking her fake boobs to reality telly?

Just what the boob tube needs: more boobs. The booberific Baywatch babe, Pamela Anderson, and her slightly sleazy husband, Rick Salomon, are rumoured to be devising their own reality show. "Think Nick and Jessica's show [MTV's Newlyweds], but with a lot more sex and a crazier family life,” a source told Us Weekly. “These two don’t have any boundaries, which is perfect for reality stars.” Hmmm, considering Salomon rose to fame for starring in the shoddily shot home sex vid 1 Night in Paris with Miss Hilton, it makes me wonder if this show could become reality TV porn.

Hilton to the rescue on an injured Oompa Loompa

Paris Hilton purportedly paused her partying to help an injured Oompa Loompa. The celebutard supposedly saw Robin Sherwood (who was dressed to entertain as an Oompa Loompa at a party) with a sliced open leg and ran to his rescue. "Paris screamed for help and jumped up to move everyone away from him," a source told the New York Daily News’ Ben Widdicombe. "She held Robin's hand and said the sweetest things to keep him calm. She stayed with him until he was safely in the ambulance on his way to the hospital." Aw, first she had sympathy for the supposed drunken elephants in India, now it’s Oompa Loompas. This celebrity’s compassion knows no end (ok, so she denied the intoxicated elephant story, but I still find it funny regardless).