In the Name of the Krap: A Dreadful Shit Tale

When a movie’s blasted by one of its stars as being dreadful, it’s gotta be pretty bad. Apparently the upcoming Uwe Boll flick, In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, couldn’t be saved by Jason Statham’s muscles, Leelee Sobieski’s boobage, Burt Reynolds’s mustache or Ray Liotta. Matthew Lillard, who also appears in Boll’s next videogame adaptation (the crazy German director previously made equally alarmingly awful movies including House of the Dead, BloodRayne and Postal), made no attempt to hide his distaste for the film while talking to Parade magazine. "It's unwatchable," he said. "It's an abomination, it's high-disaster in spite of the all-star cast," Possibly to add some sort of positive spin, Lillard added: "I love Boll to pieces, he's a great guy, and if he ever hears this, I'm gonna get in trouble because he challenged some reviewers who didn't like one of his movie to a boxing match. He may be the worst director in the world, but he's a lot of fun."
InsideEonline.com’s Eric McBain, who had what some might call the misfortune of sitting through the entire flick, said: “I will forever be haunted by the Oscar worthy performance Burt Reynolds puts on as the king on his deathbed (in a black t-shirt) revealing that the secret of the good soil is the seaweed.” Again, wanting to say something positive, Mr McBain added: "Medieval ninjas = awesome!" Evan Kaminsky, also from InsideEonline.com and also unfortunate enough to have sat through the flick, said: “There are just so many things wrong with the movie that I couldn't possibly sum it up in one quote, and you can quote me on that,” adding, “the fact that I was on mushrooms didn't make the movie any better.”