Paris patronized pint-sized Pesci

Paris Hilton put her stiletto in her mouth again when she recently ran into Joe Pesci and decided to dole out career advice. Apparently the celebutard went up to the pint-sized Pesci and proceeded to tell him she loved him in The Godfather, or so says the UK’s Daily Star. After trying to correct her, suggesting she may be thinking of Goodfellas (you know, a movie he actually appeared in), she blamed him for the mix up because he hadn’t stayed in the spotlight enough by appearing in mainstream movies like Home Alone. A source said Pesci “was literally speechless when Paris advised him to do another mainstream movie. The first two Home Alones came out when she was a little girl, so she was a big fan. But Paris clearly didn’t have a clue about his legendary silver screen status. The room gnawed their fists in a collective cringe.” The source added: “It was just another example of Paris’s giant ego and tiny brain. But unintentionally she put a smile on Pesci’s face as he left the restaurant. He thought she was funny.”

Let’s compare careers, shall we? Joe Pesci has an Academy Award, Paris Hilton has a Razzie; Joe Pesci has starred alongside such fine actors as Robert De Niro (Raging Bull), Tommy Lee Jones, Donald Sutherland, Sissy Spacek, John Candy, Kevin Costner (all in JFK), Matt Damon and Angelina Jolie (The Good Shepherd), while Paris Hilton has starred under Rick Salomon in 1 Night in Paris and alongside Carmen Electra (Pledge This!), Jason Mewes (Bottoms Up), Elisha Cuthbert and Chad Michael Murray (House of Wax); the name of Joe Pesci’s next flick is Love Ranch and costars Helen Mirren while one of Paris Hilton’s next movies is called The Hottie and the Nottie.

The Pitt Museum of Fine (Art? Body? Man? All of the above?)

Ever look at Brad Pitt and find yourself thinking you could spend all day staring at that fine sexy specimen? Was it ever since you first saw his shirtless in Thelma and Louise? Me too. Those glorious daydreams may one day become a reality. Hallelujah. Rumour has it his hometown is thinking of erecting a museum dedicated to him. Pitt’s pals, Don Cheadle and George Clooney, seem to support such a mission. “I would run tours. I would allow myself to be ensconced in wax. I would do whatever it takes to see that the Brad Pitt museum is a 100% success,” Cheadle told Extra. Clooney added: “I’d pay a good $4.50 to go to that museum."

Heigl’s hellish honeymoon

Katherine Heigl and Josh Kelley began their marriage on rocky terrain… which hopefully will lead to a smoother, paved path. The first disaster (and possibly a reason to refrain from winter weddings), happened when the wedding rings went missing. "[Kelley] lost his wedding ring 24 hours after the wedding in the snow, in Utah," the Knocked Up star told Extra. "But my brother found someone with a metal detector and they found it!" The newlyweds then hit another bump when it came to riding off into the sunset for their romantic honeymoon. "He says, 'Do you have your passport?' And I went, 'No,'" she said. "We had to go back to LA to get it!" However, once there in one piece, the honeymoon had its ups. "Ahhh, the Piña Coladas!" the Grey’s Anatomy star told People magazine. "Oh my God, Cabo! The Esperanza [resort] and Piña Coladas – it doesn't get a lot better."

Desperate Deeley

Cat Deeley, the blonde Brit with the lopsided smile (or is it a crooked nose? I can never quite figure it out no matter how much I tilt my head) who hosts the best reality show in the history of reality shows, So You Think You Can Dance, supposedly sucks when it comes to finding a fella. According to the UK Sun, when asked by New! magazine if she’d filled the position of new American boyfriend now that she’s on this side of the pond, she replied: "No. But there are plenty to choose from, which is good. It's a much bigger country than the UK, so slowly and surely I will work my way through them all." When the mag suggested men should be drooling over her accent, she said: "I hope so. Put in a good word for me, I'm single - and desperate!"

In the Name of the Krap: A Dreadful Shit Tale

When a movie’s blasted by one of its stars as being dreadful, it’s gotta be pretty bad. Apparently the upcoming Uwe Boll flick, In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, couldn’t be saved by Jason Statham’s muscles, Leelee Sobieski’s boobage, Burt Reynolds’s mustache or Ray Liotta. Matthew Lillard, who also appears in Boll’s next videogame adaptation (the crazy German director previously made equally alarmingly awful movies including House of the Dead, BloodRayne and Postal), made no attempt to hide his distaste for the film while talking to Parade magazine. "It's unwatchable," he said. "It's an abomination, it's high-disaster in spite of the all-star cast," Possibly to add some sort of positive spin, Lillard added: "I love Boll to pieces, he's a great guy, and if he ever hears this, I'm gonna get in trouble because he challenged some reviewers who didn't like one of his movie to a boxing match. He may be the worst director in the world, but he's a lot of fun."
InsideEonline.com’s Eric McBain, who had what some might call the misfortune of sitting through the entire flick, said: “I will forever be haunted by the Oscar worthy performance Burt Reynolds puts on as the king on his deathbed (in a black t-shirt) revealing that the secret of the good soil is the seaweed.” Again, wanting to say something positive, Mr McBain added: "Medieval ninjas = awesome!" Evan Kaminsky, also from InsideEonline.com and also unfortunate enough to have sat through the flick, said: “There are just so many things wrong with the movie that I couldn't possibly sum it up in one quote, and you can quote me on that,” adding, “the fact that I was on mushrooms didn't make the movie any better.”

Mariah speeding up her dating?

Mariah Carey should change her tune to We Belong Together… But Only for 15 Minutes. The diva is dating speed style, supposedly. “I really like the idea of speed dating. I like the idea of 15 mini-relationships each lasting three minutes and then you go home alone,” she was quoted by Bang as saying. “What is a date supposed to be like in the 21st Century? It's a bit old-fashioned and formal for me. I mean, I don't need to know if the guy can afford to buy dinner, do I? 'With me it just moves from hanging out with a guy to them becoming my boyfriend without too much hassle.”

Madonna kareokes Maharaja

Some send thank you notes, other bring flowers or maple syrup, but Madonna apparently opted to sing karaoke as her way of thanking an Indian Maharaja for his hospitality during her recent visit to India. "It was great to be in royal company,” the Material Girl was quoted by BreakingNews.ie as saying. “[My children], Lourdes and Rocco, were in awe of him - they kept hugging him. It was fabulous, we sang karaoke for him." And it seems she may have been bitten by the bindi bug. "Indian music is very groovy,” she said. “I might release a fusion track."

Ashanti no Asluti

Ashanti is apparently worried people might think she’s a skank after they see her in Resident Evil: Extinction. “I don't want to come off as a slut bucket. I'm not that chick, but I am a woman," the 27-year-old singer was quoted as saying by the UK’s Mirror. Hmmmm, wonder what she does in the movie to warrant that no-hoochie-warning?

Poisonous Paris

Paris Hilton seems to have another wrecked soul to notch onto her belt. After appearing to be a bad influence at the beginning of Britney Spears’s out of control downward spiral (which is turning out to be more like a plummet beyond rock bottom), it looks like she’s leading Kelly Osbourne down a similar path. According to the New York Daily News’s Rush & Molloy, on the way out of Vegas’s Noir, Osbourne was heard telling some peeps that "[Paris] gave me my first alcohol poisoning!" Something to be proud of. NOT! Damn, I not-ed too soon. The celebutard’s response was reportedly a giggly: "I did?! That's hot." What? Since when is poisoning someone hot? What planet are you from?

DiCaprio’s remote controlled porcelain thrown

I guess when you’re loaded you get tired of showing your wealth off with fancy clothes, cars and multiple houses and villas. So where do rich people turn? Toilets. That’s right, I’ve heard of a prince or sultan who had a gold toilet seat. Sounded like extreme extravagance to me. But now movie stars seem to be flushing the same route. Will Smith raved about his paperless loo. Now Leonardo DiCaprio one-uped him by buying a commode that’s not only paper free, but remote control operated. Now any of his line of model girlfriends won’t have to complain about him leaving the seat up. This toilet seat automatically goes up when he approaches, and automatically goes back down a few seconds after he’s done. And if that wasn’t sweet enough, it also comes equipped with a built-in deodorizer for those less than fresh dumps. "Leo loves his new toilet," a pal told the UK’s Daily Snack. "It's more like a toy since it has a remote control." A toy toilet, what will they think of next?