Red-light Reid

Tara Reid is purportedly pimping herself out to… uh… pimps? According to the UK’s Sun, the trashtastic celeb is flying Down Under to host a Hookers Ball. Her duties include dressing for a romp in the red light district (shouldn’t be too hard for her to find in her wardrobe) and judging a wet t-shirt contest (also shouldn’t be too hard for her). "It's a night like your 'pimps and prostitutes' or sleaze balls, and it's just a night of less is best,” hospitality manager Guy Dunne said. "We thought Tara Reid would be a great choice. It’s a very naughty night and an opportunity to put your inhibitions down. I believe Tara Reid and her people were very enthusiastic to come here." Wow, sounds like a far stretch for the original Nipplegate party animal, I wonder if her “acting” abilities are up to snuff.
The ad, posted on news.ninemsn.com.au, read: “Darwins naughtiest night of the year is nigh… it’s time to come out of the closet & onto the dance floor… Celebrity Guests, Best Dressed. Bondage Beds, Fantasy, Latex, Pornstars, Erotic Dancers, The Booty Bar, R Rated Very Raunchy Event!” Under that it read: “Hollywood A Lister & Star of Amercian Pie” Can you guess what’s wrong with the last sentence? Here’s a clue, it’s not the incorrect spelling of our southern neighbours. (I think her star status is closer to her cup size than the beginning of the alphabet).

Renée’s rampant Clooney crush

Renée Zellweger can’t seem to say enough good things about her good buddy George Clooney. "George is so handsome,” the actress with the perpetual squint was quoted by Celebrity News Service as saying. “Even more so when he's playing football with a bunch of 30-year-olds and out-running them on the pitch!” Bet you liked watching him get all hot and sweaty, eh Renée. “He's not just gorgeous though, he's also my confidant. He tells me what he thinks, and I want to know because I have so much respect for him." Three words Zellweger: get over him!

Federline father of the year?

It’s Federslime time! Possibly the freakiest news of the week (topping the possibility of his trainwreck of an exwife being preggers) is that Kevin Federline has made Details magazine’s Good Fathers list and scored the cover. How much did his custody lawyers have to pay for that plug? K-Fed shared the title with Larry Birkhead, the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s daughter. How, you ask? "By being more visible presences in their children's lives than many Hollywood A-listers, they emerged as unlikely candidates for Dad of Year," the mag reads. Hmmmm, making the headlines with your children makes you a positive presence?

Efron to age into former Friend?

Are you curious about what High School Musical teen heartthrob Zac Efron will look like in a couple decades? Apparently movie bosses think it’ll be something like Matthew Perry. According to The Hollywood Reporter, the Canadian funnyman (well, some people found Chandler Bing funny) has been cast as a grown up version of Efron’s character in the upcoming flick Seventeen, a film which sounds like a mix between Big and Freaky Friday.

Til death… when we still do not part

So it seems the word ‘part’ from the phrase “til death do you part” didn’t jive with Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne who apparently can’t live without one another and have supposedly made a suicide pact. "Whatever it was, where you know you're going to die, we would want to choose the time where we want to leave,” Sharon was quoted by BreakingNews.ie as saying. "I would go with my old man, and he would come with me.” Sounds sorta selfish, I wouldn’t want to be one of their three kids reading that report. But, it gets even weirder. “[Fortunately],” Sharon continued, “my husband is better than ever health-wise." Really? Ozzy? The drugged out rocker who can barely muster a mumble? He’s in better health? Now that’s scary!

A painful fairy-toenail

Call me old fashioned, but I don’t think princesses should be talking about toenails. It just doesn’t jive with my idea of happily ever after. However, Amy Adams, who plays Princess Giselle in Disney’s Enchanted (which, incidentally, topped box offices on both sides of the border on its opening weekend), must have missed that memo. Adams recently described how her onscreen Prince McCharming (Patrick Dempsey) accidentally tore off some of her toenails when the two took to the dance floor for a scene in the film. But, being a lady, Adams bared the brunt of the blame. "Patrick did take off two of my toenails but it was my fault because I was a trained dancer and so I thought I knew what I was doing,” the actress was quoted by the World Entertainment News Network as saying. “I was not a good partner and I had a hard time surrendering to Patrick's lead. He moved and I didn't, and I refused to let him lead, so I just stood my ground and he just tore them off. So I ended up with the loss of some toenails and sore feet but that was the extent of my injuries."

Baa baa colourful sheep...

Madge-y had a little lamb (and another lamb and another lamb) whose fleece was not white as snow. Now baaaa-d girl Madonna’s being slapped on the wrist by animal activists who are upset she dyed her sheep different colours for a Vogue photoshoot, music-news.com reports. Ewe! For PETA’s sake, who would wanna eat a green sheep?

Heath Ledger personifies Pepé Le Pew

You know you smell bad when New York subway passengers complain about your stench. Riders reportedly got a whiff of Heath Ledger when he was commuting with his daughter Matilda (poor child). "[Ledger] was pushing past the crowds on a staircase, and I got quite a whiff. He smelled pretty unwashed!," a source was quoted by Celebrity News Service as saying. Another told OK! magazine that the actor’s "jacket has clearly never seen the inside of a washing machine. He seemed to be going for the hobo-chic look!" Hobo? Ho no! Lather up Ledger, and leave the smell at home!